Friday, December 10, 2010
smokers attention please !!
Godfrey Phillips India Ltd & ITC has stopped their production from 1st of Nov. The price is going to high very soon. somewhere (State like Bihar) it has already started black marketing. Bad news for us.......like heavy smoker :(
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Definition
NEP: The type of quiz that asks whether you drink Pepsi or Coke.
Professor: A text book wired for only sound but not energy.
Revenge: Biting a dog because the dog bit you.
Wine: A beverage thats makes you more pleasing to yourself & less to others.
Danger: Having a million Dollar Life Insurance policy & an angry wife.
Liar: What people automatically think you are when you tell an unpleasant truth.
Lie: The truth that never happened.
Rainbow: What appears on your face when you laugh & cry at the same time.
Profit: Beside sex the only thing that could make sleep more enjoyable.
Insomniac: Type of people worry to sleep & don't sleep because they worry.
Product: An element designed to use the day after warranty expired.
Hardware: The parts of a computer that can be kicked.
Professor: A text book wired for only sound but not energy.
Revenge: Biting a dog because the dog bit you.
Wine: A beverage thats makes you more pleasing to yourself & less to others.
Danger: Having a million Dollar Life Insurance policy & an angry wife.
Liar: What people automatically think you are when you tell an unpleasant truth.
Lie: The truth that never happened.
Rainbow: What appears on your face when you laugh & cry at the same time.
Profit: Beside sex the only thing that could make sleep more enjoyable.
Insomniac: Type of people worry to sleep & don't sleep because they worry.
Product: An element designed to use the day after warranty expired.
Hardware: The parts of a computer that can be kicked.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
I am who I am......
I am who I am, If you don't like me.. that's your problem.
Why cheat? if you are not happy, just leave. Just because you have a mouth doesn't mean you always have to use it. I'd love unconditional love combo with a side of affection & attention & plenty of communication. you asked me to be more affectionate, so now i have two girlfriends!! I don't wanna be a man that needs a woman, wanna be the man a woman needs.
Monday, November 29, 2010
My Funny Facebook status
• Wake up don't spend too much time in bed. Only prostitutes make money there. ;)
• Don't hate me because I'm handsome. Hate me because your girlfriend thinks so ;D
• When I was a kid, I acted as an adult. Now that I'm an adult, I act as a kid. :)
• I'm not special but I'm limited edition :)
• When you are single, all you see are happy couple. When you are committed, all you see are happy single!
• Every man is a millionaire by his sperm count. And the funny thing is that even these millions are also spent on women !!
• Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'shut-up' !!
• People like you are the reasons we have middle finger. ;)
• You love someone, you marry someone else. The one you marry becomes your wife or husband & the one you loved becomes the password of your E-mail ID !!
• My bedroom is not messy... I just chose to lay my cloths out on the floor so I can see them better. :D
• In case I drink too much & pass out for a while, Merry christmas you guys. ;)
• "Mom who is GOD?"
"God is not male, not female, not black, not white, & love kids."
"ohh Michael Jackson !"
• Love is like made in china. No guarantee no warranty. :)
• Men look at women's back and say 'what an ass', women look at men's face and say 'what an ass' !
• Dogs look up to me. Cats look down to me. Pigs treat me as equal. I like pigs ! :)
• Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good
looking? A. They already have boyfriends ;)
• What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A. They
can both smell it, but can't eat it ;)
• I love work. Unfortunately, if I do work it gets finished. How can I
finish something that I love? Enjoy laziness. :D
• When I see you, all the butterflies in my stomach just come back. :)
• Fighting for peace is like f**king for virginity. :D
• Everyone hates me because I'm so universally well liked. ;)
• I'm not lazy. Someone just stole my motivation. I'm the victim here !!
• You will never reach your Destination, if you stop and throw stones at every Dog that barks.. Better we keep biscuits and go"
• If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be appreciated, just SHUT up. :D
• You are the Hero of your own existence. Unfortunately, it doesn't end well. ;)
• Johnny Johnny !" "yes papa !"
"Eating sugar?" "No papa !"
"Telling lies ?" "Dude WTF"
• Signboard outside heaven:
"lying in bed naked with someone & screaming 'OH MY GOD.... OH MY GOD....' will not be considered as praying' !
• I'm Single, doesn't always mean available. :)
• Just because I'm skinny, doesn't mean I don't eat. :
• I am not short I'm fun-sized. :)
• I didn't fall....... I was just testing gravity... It still works. :)
• I wish cancer got cancer and died. :)
• Night was dark, moon was high. Boy stopped his bike, girl asked him why. He come closer to her, she felt shy. He went near her & told NO PETROL. ;)
• "Me, fail English? That's unpossible!"
• Drunken guy is a liability & a drunken girl is an asset. ;)
• I'm dark & handsom. When it is dark, I'm handsom. ;)
• I hope my next will be better then my ex. :)
• No one can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it. :)
• There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side & the right side. :)
• I'm not lazy... I'm on energy saving mode. ;)
• I have as much authority as Prime Minister, I just don't have as many people who believe it. :)
• I'd like to be so rich that my dog has a dog. :-D
• A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
• One day she sent me a text, " let's break-up." I didn't even have time to be sad, she sent me another text. "sorry, wrong person." :)
• Perfect Boyfriend doesn't drink, doesn't smoke & doesn't cheat on his girlfriend........ And doesn't exist. ;-D
• If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman - or a new car.. ;-p
• Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege. ;-D
• I have organised my job in 3 simple categories: Thinks I won't do now, Things I won't do latter & Things I'll never do. ;-D
• Alcohol doesn't solves any problems; but then, think again, neither does milk. ;-)
• Ladies, your secrets are safe with me and all my friends. ;-D
• As long as my answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong? ;-D
• You're old when your sweete says," lets go upstairs & make love," and your answer," honey, I can't do both ! "
• when we dated, my ex enticed me by saying she wanted an "open" thing. only later did I find out that she meant her mouth & my wallet. :-(
• If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28days.
• She finally laughed at one of my joke last night. Unfortunately for me, this particular joke was 3 inches long & only lasted 8 seconds.
• Girls DIARY: He was quite 2day. I asked if its my fault. He said Nthn. He smiled sadly. I cried all night !!
Boys DIARY: m sad......India lost by 5 runs.
• I'm not totally useless, "I can still be used as an example of uselessness"
• Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
• My affections are more like infections.
• Save water. Take a bath with your neighbour's wife.
• I'm not going to lie to you. You are very attractive when I've had five or seven beers.
• Broken promises doesn't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?
• If you don't count any of my failures, I'm quite successful
• Man: A creature obviously created when God was exhausted.
• You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
• Viagra now available in powder to put on in tea, does nothing for erections but stops your biscuit from getting soft.
• When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading
• Boss in modern management is one who think 9 women together can produce a child in one month ! if achieved next month target is twins.
• The road to success is always under construction.
• A girl phoned me & said "come on over there's nobody home," I went over - nobody was home.
• Is reading in the bathroom considered as multi-tasking??
• Met my Bank Manager today. He asked me the quickest way to Hospital, so I pushed him in the path of a passing Ambulance.
• A group of elephants are on the street. A gorgeous female elephant passes by & a teen elephant comments...WOW-3600-2400-3600 ....
• I have decided to know you, a whole lot better. Lets start with your banking information.
• With both painting & sex, rule no one is the same: For a good finish primer first. :-D
• Parents to our college watchmen : " Is this college good ... ?? ". Watchmen:"probably the best coz i did my graduation here & got immediate placement " ...
• Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
• The cost of living is going high, and the chance of living is going down.
• I got a timematchine......!!! I get in in & it get me 7 hour in future...... I call it ...... BED......!!!
• Congress...... Where a politician gets up to speak...... Say nothing...... Nobody listen...... & then everybody disagree......!!!
• The secret of success is knowing whom to blame for failure.
• Don't hate me because I'm handsome. Hate me because your girlfriend thinks so ;D
• When I was a kid, I acted as an adult. Now that I'm an adult, I act as a kid. :)
• I'm not special but I'm limited edition :)
• When you are single, all you see are happy couple. When you are committed, all you see are happy single!
• Every man is a millionaire by his sperm count. And the funny thing is that even these millions are also spent on women !!
• Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'shut-up' !!
• People like you are the reasons we have middle finger. ;)
• You love someone, you marry someone else. The one you marry becomes your wife or husband & the one you loved becomes the password of your E-mail ID !!
• My bedroom is not messy... I just chose to lay my cloths out on the floor so I can see them better. :D
• In case I drink too much & pass out for a while, Merry christmas you guys. ;)
• "Mom who is GOD?"
"God is not male, not female, not black, not white, & love kids."
"ohh Michael Jackson !"
• Love is like made in china. No guarantee no warranty. :)
• Men look at women's back and say 'what an ass', women look at men's face and say 'what an ass' !
• Dogs look up to me. Cats look down to me. Pigs treat me as equal. I like pigs ! :)
• Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good
looking? A. They already have boyfriends ;)
• What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A. They
can both smell it, but can't eat it ;)
• I love work. Unfortunately, if I do work it gets finished. How can I
finish something that I love? Enjoy laziness. :D
• When I see you, all the butterflies in my stomach just come back. :)
• Fighting for peace is like f**king for virginity. :D
• Everyone hates me because I'm so universally well liked. ;)
• I'm not lazy. Someone just stole my motivation. I'm the victim here !!
• You will never reach your Destination, if you stop and throw stones at every Dog that barks.. Better we keep biscuits and go"
• If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be appreciated, just SHUT up. :D
• You are the Hero of your own existence. Unfortunately, it doesn't end well. ;)
• Johnny Johnny !" "yes papa !"
"Eating sugar?" "No papa !"
"Telling lies ?" "Dude WTF"
• Signboard outside heaven:
"lying in bed naked with someone & screaming 'OH MY GOD.... OH MY GOD....' will not be considered as praying' !
• I'm Single, doesn't always mean available. :)
• Just because I'm skinny, doesn't mean I don't eat. :
• I am not short I'm fun-sized. :)
• I didn't fall....... I was just testing gravity... It still works. :)
• I wish cancer got cancer and died. :)
• Night was dark, moon was high. Boy stopped his bike, girl asked him why. He come closer to her, she felt shy. He went near her & told NO PETROL. ;)
• "Me, fail English? That's unpossible!"
• Drunken guy is a liability & a drunken girl is an asset. ;)
• I'm dark & handsom. When it is dark, I'm handsom. ;)
• I hope my next will be better then my ex. :)
• No one can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it. :)
• There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side & the right side. :)
• I'm not lazy... I'm on energy saving mode. ;)
• I have as much authority as Prime Minister, I just don't have as many people who believe it. :)
• I'd like to be so rich that my dog has a dog. :-D
• A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
• One day she sent me a text, " let's break-up." I didn't even have time to be sad, she sent me another text. "sorry, wrong person." :)
• Perfect Boyfriend doesn't drink, doesn't smoke & doesn't cheat on his girlfriend........ And doesn't exist. ;-D
• If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman - or a new car.. ;-p
• Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege. ;-D
• I have organised my job in 3 simple categories: Thinks I won't do now, Things I won't do latter & Things I'll never do. ;-D
• Alcohol doesn't solves any problems; but then, think again, neither does milk. ;-)
• Ladies, your secrets are safe with me and all my friends. ;-D
• As long as my answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong? ;-D
• You're old when your sweete says," lets go upstairs & make love," and your answer," honey, I can't do both ! "
• when we dated, my ex enticed me by saying she wanted an "open" thing. only later did I find out that she meant her mouth & my wallet. :-(
• If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28days.
• She finally laughed at one of my joke last night. Unfortunately for me, this particular joke was 3 inches long & only lasted 8 seconds.
• Girls DIARY: He was quite 2day. I asked if its my fault. He said Nthn. He smiled sadly. I cried all night !!
Boys DIARY: m sad......India lost by 5 runs.
• I'm not totally useless, "I can still be used as an example of uselessness"
• Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
• My affections are more like infections.
• Save water. Take a bath with your neighbour's wife.
• I'm not going to lie to you. You are very attractive when I've had five or seven beers.
• Broken promises doesn't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?
• If you don't count any of my failures, I'm quite successful
• Man: A creature obviously created when God was exhausted.
• You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
• Viagra now available in powder to put on in tea, does nothing for erections but stops your biscuit from getting soft.
• When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading
• Boss in modern management is one who think 9 women together can produce a child in one month ! if achieved next month target is twins.
• The road to success is always under construction.
• A girl phoned me & said "come on over there's nobody home," I went over - nobody was home.
• Is reading in the bathroom considered as multi-tasking??
• Met my Bank Manager today. He asked me the quickest way to Hospital, so I pushed him in the path of a passing Ambulance.
• A group of elephants are on the street. A gorgeous female elephant passes by & a teen elephant comments...WOW-3600-2400-3600 ....
• I have decided to know you, a whole lot better. Lets start with your banking information.
• With both painting & sex, rule no one is the same: For a good finish primer first. :-D
• Parents to our college watchmen : " Is this college good ... ?? ". Watchmen:"probably the best coz i did my graduation here & got immediate placement " ...
• Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
• The cost of living is going high, and the chance of living is going down.
• I got a timematchine......!!! I get in in & it get me 7 hour in future...... I call it ...... BED......!!!
• Congress...... Where a politician gets up to speak...... Say nothing...... Nobody listen...... & then everybody disagree......!!!
• The secret of success is knowing whom to blame for failure.
Definition
· Cost of living: Your income plus 10%
· Drunk: what you are when you can't decide if the glass is half empty or half full. ;D
· Language: something created to satisfy our need to complain..
· Company policy: The corporate equivalent of your parents saying "because I said so !"
· change: what women expect the men they marry will do & men expect the women they marry won't.
· Truth: something that's always stranger then fiction, since fiction is obliged to stick to the possibilities..
· Confidence: The feeling you have before you understand the situation.
· Calorie: A measurement used to access the popularity of food.
· Wedding: The merger of love & war.
· Reorganization: A method for creating the illusions of progress, while producing inefficiency and demoralization.
· College: A place where papa pays & son plays.
· Raise: A monetary amount large enough to increase your taxes, yet small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.
· Responsibility: What you should accept if, and only if, they have photographic evidence
· Pessimist: An optimist with experience.
· Mystery: The fact that eggs are full of cholesterol but chickens are not.
· Perspective: the ability to see three sides of a coin.
· Job: A place where you work just hard enough to avoid getting fired while getting paid just enough to avoid quitting.
· Thinking: Something that should be related to speaking in the same way that chewing is related to eating.
· Loss: what you do if you buy a life insurance and then live
· Clerk: The person responsible for distribution of funny cartoons to every department.
· Improvement: A word that should begin with you instead of I.
· Impossibility: keeping your mind and mouth open at the same time.
· Illiterate: someone who make grammatical errors even in their dreams.
· Blunder: A phenomenal idea with a disastrous outcome.
· History: The only thing Adam & Eve didn't have to learn.
· Enlightenment: A state of mind that is achievable only by first being young & stupid.
· Boss: Is a person who always early when you are late and always late when you are early.
· Brain: The device with which you think you think.
· Complain: To explain the pain for no gain.
· Drunk: what you are when you can't decide if the glass is half empty or half full. ;D
· Language: something created to satisfy our need to complain..
· Company policy: The corporate equivalent of your parents saying "because I said so !"
· change: what women expect the men they marry will do & men expect the women they marry won't.
· Truth: something that's always stranger then fiction, since fiction is obliged to stick to the possibilities..
· Confidence: The feeling you have before you understand the situation.
· Calorie: A measurement used to access the popularity of food.
· Wedding: The merger of love & war.
· Reorganization: A method for creating the illusions of progress, while producing inefficiency and demoralization.
· College: A place where papa pays & son plays.
· Raise: A monetary amount large enough to increase your taxes, yet small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.
· Responsibility: What you should accept if, and only if, they have photographic evidence
· Pessimist: An optimist with experience.
· Mystery: The fact that eggs are full of cholesterol but chickens are not.
· Perspective: the ability to see three sides of a coin.
· Job: A place where you work just hard enough to avoid getting fired while getting paid just enough to avoid quitting.
· Thinking: Something that should be related to speaking in the same way that chewing is related to eating.
· Loss: what you do if you buy a life insurance and then live
· Clerk: The person responsible for distribution of funny cartoons to every department.
· Improvement: A word that should begin with you instead of I.
· Impossibility: keeping your mind and mouth open at the same time.
· Illiterate: someone who make grammatical errors even in their dreams.
· Blunder: A phenomenal idea with a disastrous outcome.
· History: The only thing Adam & Eve didn't have to learn.
· Enlightenment: A state of mind that is achievable only by first being young & stupid.
· Boss: Is a person who always early when you are late and always late when you are early.
· Brain: The device with which you think you think.
· Complain: To explain the pain for no gain.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
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